The reference-laden “Title of Awesomeness”, by Caedmon Fowler
The following is Caedmon Fowler’s “Beowulf Boast” assignment. The students were to write an exaggerated personal boast after the style of Beowulf. Oh, and if you click on the links, some of them are rewarding. My favorite is “Rabbit Speaker”.
Title of Awesomeness
I, the conqueror of the Hallowed Fountain,
the trainer of the wild Thragtusk,
and Ruler of the Void,
set out to complete my mission to save the world’s greatest heroes from the infamous Bad Horse.
I, the kin of Jef Fearsome and grandson of Grandpa Fearsomer hath come upon this place to free
the imprisoned heroes.
My father who hath wrestled single-handedly twenty-four and a half bears for thirty six hours
hath given me his helm of thinkingness which will help me outsmart Bad Horse.
Though Bad Horse may have done many evil deeds, I have done greater righteous acts.
I bravely explored its depths. for ten days before I hit the bottom.
There lay the gateway to another dimension which was called Atlantis.
In return, I received my flaming sword of the Boss for opening up a worm hole that trapped all the reavers.
Even though Bad Horse is the most evil of the evil villains, his destruction is a task that I must do.
If I don’t fulfill my mission, then the greatest heroes will remain in his prison forever.
and of course, King Kong will remain there if I don’t