The Facepalm

Publishing Veritas Academy's finest facepalm moments

Month: January, 2014

Hump Day

by facepalmforever

When asked what three items he would bring to survive on a tropical island…

“Well, the island is infested with tigers and that seems to be the most imminent threat. So, to deal with that, I would have a camel… to defend me against tigers. The reason it’s a camel is because there is water in its hump, so I would have both a defensive camel and a water source.”

-Christopher Henselman



by facepalmforever

[Just before doing a personal-narrative style journal entry]

8th Grader: Can I embellish the story?

Mr. White: You can tell it creatively, for example by making it sound overdramatic, but you can’t change events. It has to be 100% true.

8th Grader: So, I could say “the firecracker exploded in my hands,” but not “the firecracker blew off my hands.”

 Mr. White: Correct.

 8th Grader: You’re limiting my material.

Mr. White: Henry David Thoreau said “it’s vain to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live.” You’re limiting your own material.

8th Grader: But you can’t skydive until you’re 18, I’ve looked into it!