The story of the antlers (this isn’t, actually, that far from the truth).

by facepalmforever

Deer image


What is Bambi?

A bambi was walking in the woods with his mother, when suddenly he heard, spoken off in the distance, a voice proclaiming: “Now son, aim straight and true.” Realising that this was spoken by a human, bambi promptly ignored it, because he was young and reckless. “Now bambi,” his mother said as she erupted in words creating babble that flows like a stream and rips through mountains creating a new path across the rugged unforgiving terrain of the cold and sleepless mountains. “When you hear people the logical thing to do is run as fast as you can in any direction, since humans are the lulling scum of the lagoon that makes you cringe in utter hatred because if it’s appalling nature.” So bambi decided that since he had heard the sound of human voices, he would run in a direction, which turned out to be directly towards the voices.

“Here he comes! Quickly aim for the head!” yelled one of the gruff voices residing within the shrubbery. Suddenly a sound that could break through the heavens and shoot beyond the stars ricocheted off of the trunks of the trees and bounced in the young bambi’s ear drums sending signals to his brain. However the signal were not as fast as the bullet that flew from the barrel of the child intent on the listless murder of a deer for the enjoyment of sport. The veil of death’s dark gaze then fell upon this poor deer, and he suddenly and abruptly died.

“Look dad!” proclaimed the young lord Hanenburg, “This one has antlers.”



By a student.