Hey folks! Sorry it’s a day late! Busy day yesterday. Here’s episode four. Click on the picture above to go to the podcast!
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Hey guys! We’ll be releasing new episodes every Tuesday. Here’s this week’s installment. Click on the picture for the episode! If you have an idea for an episode, or a question we can answer, or maybe just a thought that you want to shout into the oblivion that is the internet, you can send it here: firstname.lastname@example.org .
In order to get you guys hooked (if that’s ever a possibility), we’re posting a few episodes rapid-fire style. In the future, we’ll be posting once a week. We have an email address now, too! If you have questions or suggestions for episodes, you can send them to email@example.com .
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Your friendly neighborhood Hanenburg
From our “write a fable” exercise in writing lab:
“A Tale of Two Chickens: Fluff & Tuff”
Once upon a time there were two lazy and broody chickens who laid in the sun every day. They also loved partaking in dirt baths and chose to always ignore their master when he called out to them. One day as they were lounging in the soft packed dirt with the sun warming their feathers, Master Human Guy called out o them that it was feeding time. They ignored his calls and Fluff turned to Tuff and they began chatting away about the nice weather. A few hours later as the sun began to sink in the sky, Fluff experienced a pit of emptiness in her stomach. “Tuff!” she chortled, “I do believe my intestines are shutting down!”
The Tuff began to feel the pit of emptiness in her stomach as well. “Fluff!” Tuff chortled, “I do believe my intestines are dying as well!” They continued to groan and complain about their stomachs and messed up intestines until Mute Peck waddled over. Peck, with eyes bulging and feathers tossed began mindlessly pecking at the ground. This reminded Fluff and Tuff that they had not eaten all day. They began shouting at Peck, “Master Human Guy never called us for feeding time!”
They continued to whine and complain well in to the night, and because of their ruckes, two coyotes preyed on them in their dirt patch. They coyotes murdered Fluff and Tuff and to everyone’s dismay, Mute Peck. If only Fluff and Tuff would have obeyed their master instead of ignoring him, then they could still be alive with Peck in their patch of dirt. The moral? Do what you’re told in order to avoid hunger, sleep deprivation, and death.
The following is a poem written by Jonathan Jasper as a surrender order for his country, Austria-Hungary, to John Burk Merryman’s country, Germany. After allying with Austria-Hungary and Turkey (one Alsten Okpisz) to destroy France, Russia, and Britain, John Burk then betrayed the plans for a triple victory in favor of a solo triumph.
To Be Spoken, with Umph:
Friends, Europeans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury France, Russia, and Britain, not to praise them.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with them Read the rest of this entry »